A short play about why Rand-ianism is stupid
Rich guy: If only everything was like Ayn Rand!
Rich guy 2: Exactly! I’m tired of the poor draining our society of my parents money.
Rich guy: That’s true.
(Poor guy enters)
Poor guy: Hey, I want some stuff.
Rich guy: Then succeed in a fair and impartial system.
Poor guy: That’s cool, but I need basic social standards to allow me a fair shot.
Rich guy 2: Then you should have had a rich dad.
Poor guy: I guess. Hey, maybe I’ll just rob motherfuckers.
Rich guy: Wait, what?
Poor guy: Yeah, throughout history, that’s what people basically do if poor. I mean, read history books. Kings would consider concessions for peasants when necessary for the status quo. I mean, check the Magna Carta. Kings knew this and kings were stupid dicks who married their cousins. Are you guys seriously bigger douchebags than medieval kings?
Rich guy 2: But…no! Objectivist perfect society!
Poor guy: Nah. I think I’ll stab some people then and take your stuff. Seems like the thing to do.
Rich guy: That’s not fair.
Poor guy: Rand-ian philosophy doesn’t care about fair, buddy.
Rich guy 2: Oh God, I’m being stabbed.
Poor guy: Hey, maybe you should call the police you don’t believe in having.
Rich guy: …
Poor guy: Man, knives are dope.
***
Moral of the story: don’t be a huge dick or you’ll probably get stabbed or something.
