January 2011
9 posts
New Dorkly
http://www.dorkly.com/article/9435/rainbow-road
Enjoy
New College Humor Up
http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1812413
True Story
Right before break, I had a big paper to complete. Around 2 AM, realizing it was an all-nighter, I went to get a Red Bull to discover we were out. My suitemates were out of caffeine, the vending machines broken, and I was getting tired. I was also hungry, which is relevant as:
The only caffeine left was a 4Loko.
Now the question is: what would you do?
2 tags
Chris Brown, Michael Vick, and Anger
Fuck Chris Brown, man.
His only job was supposed to be a cute, non-threatening guy who makes mediocre music for 14 year old girls. His only purpose is to hit that demographic. And instead he hit Rihanna, which would alone be bad for his career until you remember
1: Rihanna is a bigger star than him and
2: The two overlap.
Think about it. It’s like if the Easter Bunny choked out Santa....
1 tag
Ranger Ned
Ranger Ned, who continually fails to capture Yogi Bear has the supplied excuse that Yogi is “Smarter than the average bear”. You know what else is smarter than the average bear? DIMWITTED CHILDREN.
This is not a good excuse.
Meta
I never meta fourth-wall breaking pun I didn’t like, readers.
3 tags
Ratzinger
I really hope Pope Ratzinger doesn’t turn out to be evil, because if he is, we’re going to have a really hard time explaining how we didn’t notice.
New Years Resolutions
1: Be a better, kinder person.
2: Stop lying about my new years resolutions.
3: Don’t loudly rap along with every rap song that comes on at a party, because what if someone else wants to rap along, and then uh-oh, rap battle?
4: Do tons of stupid, alcohol related stuff, to give everyone a lot of cool stories for when I’m president.
5: Quit smoking crack.
6: Start smoking crack...